Desperation
by Keersten
Summary: This is just an extension of the campfire scene, with some added plot elements I think would have added even more interest to the story.
1. Chapter 1

Trip and Monkey stared into the fire, its warmth a welcome respite for weary bones.

"At this rate, we should reach my community by midday. What will you do when we get there? After I take the headband off. Apart from break my neck I mean." she said with a sardonic head-shake.

"Go back, I guess."

"Back where?"

"Wherever. Depends where I can find food and fuel. I... I usually keep movin'."

"You could probably stay if you wanted. I'm just saying… When my father hears about all you've done for me, I know he'll offer you a home. If that's what you want."

Monkey searched for words and came up empty. He couldn't voice the ominous doubts he had about her hometown. After all the trials they'd been through, he wanted to believe things would be okay. His gut told him otherwise. Even if her town was miraculously safe from slavers and mechs, he knew he would never fit in. He had learned early in life to be very careful not to grow too close to anyone, since they could be ripped from his life at any moment. He remembered the day mechs attacked his family's supposedly safe enclave. The shock and horror of witnessing his parents' brutal deaths had numbed his senses and slowed his reflexes, leaving him almost fatally vulnerable. He'd barely escaped with his own life. For weeks afterward he'd wandered around in a half-stupor, barely functioning. He often wondered how he hadn't been picked off by bandits or died of dehydration at that point. Years of avoiding unnecessary social interaction had left him without much experience interpreting social cues beyond those used in haggling over supplies he needed to survive. Even now he couldn't decipher the nervousness in Trip's voice. She felt obligated to offer him a home after all she'd put him through. That much was clear. But was she afraid he'd say yes, or afraid he'd say no? He guessed it didn't matter. He'd already made up his mind. He could feel himself slipping dangerously close to caring about her, and somehow he knew it had nothing to do with the headband's termination trigger. It was far too risky to let this feeling keep growing.

For Trip, his silent stare into the flames said it all. His resentment at being her captive was palpable, and she didn't blame him. He'd be on his way as soon as she released him. After all, that had been the deal all along. So why did she feel so crushed? There was nothing for it; no use getting upset. She shoved her bruised feelings aside and focused on the problem at hand. Monkey hadn't given any indication he was going to sleep any time soon.

"We should get some rest. We still have a long drive tomorrow."

"This place is too exposed. I gotta stay awake and keep watch."

"Well then let's take turns. I'll take the first watch. You've been fighting mechs and driving all day. You must be exhausted."

"I'll be fine. You wouldn't last two seconds if mechs or slavers showed up. That's why I'm here, isn't it?"

"I can use the dragonfly's infra-red sensor and set up a half-mile search radius. If anything shows up, I promise I'll wake you up immediately."

"How do I know you won't fall asleep?"

"Please, Monkey. Just trust me."

"I'll try." He grimaced, settling on his side with a resigned sigh.

Trip swiped a few keys and nudged the dragonfly aloft.

Monkey still hadn't closed his eyes after it returned with nothing more to report than the heat signatures of a few nocturnal animals.

"Still can't sleep?" Trip asked.

"Mm" Monkey grunted. He looked thoughtful for a few seconds.

"Huh…I wonder…" he said under his breath.

"What?"

"I wonder if you could force me to sleep with this thing?" He added hastily "Not that I'd want you to, I was just curious. Don't get any dumb ideas."

"I actually don't know. I'm starting to think maybe I should try it out. You really need your rest for tomorrow."

He glanced at her. She was staring intently at him the same way she would a security code she was about to crack. He jerked upright.

"Dammit, shoulda kept my mouth shut. I can't protect you if I'm asleep, ya know!"

He started scrambling towards her with alarming speed.

"Command: sleep! No-no-no-no!"

He almost collapsed into the fire before Trip used all her weight to pull him in another direction. She instinctively tried to slow his fall, nearly dislocating her shoulder in the process. Most of his body flumped down fairly hard, but she at least managed to keep his head from slamming on the hard-packed, stony ground.

Trip crouched beside him, silently chastising herself. She'd allowed desperation to trump judgement. But then, so had Monkey just now. She wondered what he'd thought charging toward her would accomplish. He couldn't stop her from commanding him to do anything. Anything at all. The reminder of just how much power she had over him brought on a wave of nausea. Evil. What she was doing was evil. But what else could she do? Her father must think his only beloved daughter was dead by now and Monkey held the only key to her safe return. If she were in Monkey's place she would attempt an escape at the first opportunity. She couldn't release him completely yet, but she could take a small step in the right direction. There was no need for him to die with her. She had wanted to deactivate the termination trigger sooner, once she trusted him not to hurt her, but they were always in the midst of battling mechs and and running to stay alive. It might not mean much, now that it seemed they were past the worst of the danger, but it was something. Now was her chance. She opened her databand and in few keystrokes it was done. For all he would know when he awoke, his life was still tied to hers. After all, the disciplinary pulse was still active. She cringed at the memory of her first command to him. That moment's frequent intrusions on her thoughts made her heart physically ache each time. She imagined reaching into her own chest, tearing the offending organ out and letting it plop unceremoniously onto the ground where it would continue to beat pitifully. As ridiculous and morbid as the mental image was, this would all be so much easier if she didn't have a heart. "I'm sorry, Monkey" she whispered. She watched his chest rise and fall and wondered how long he would be out.


	2. Chapter 2

A few hours later the sky had lightened to chicory blue and Monkey was still snoring lightly.

"Monkey…" Trip tapped his shoulder. He barely stirred.

"Monkey… Monkey!" Gently shaking him caused his eyes to crinkle shut even tighter. With one more shake, his eyes snapped open and his arm shot out with blinding speed. The blow sent her sprawling in the dust, and in the same second he realized it was her. Not a mech or slaver. The terror in her eyes was fleeting, but it tore at his heart.

"Sh-shit! You ok?"

"Yeah…" she uttered, her breath still quick and shallow. He understood now; this was exactly why she had enslaved him. He pulled her up by the hand.

"I'm just not used to being woken up by someone who's not..."…_gonna hurt me. _"I'm sorry." He realized he was still holding her hand and dropped it self-consciously, turning towards his bike. "Let's get going."

The sooner they were on the road the better. He could feel a lump forming in his throat and once they were on his bike she wouldn't be able to see his face.


End file.
